Frozen peas

My kids LOVE to eat frozen peas, but they like them frozen, not cooked.  I used to think this was weird.  But they are actually good.  What good mother would deny her children these super healthy and nutritious vegetable?  My kids love them as a snack or with our meal, as long as they are frozen.  In fact, Spencer ate them for lunch today, with nothing else.  He was full.  Check the nutrition label, they have a lot a protein too.  Who knew?

Tough

Why do I have to be tough? It must be a natural desire that I was born with. I've never liked showing emotion of any kind, but particularly sad emotions. So when I'm feeling sad, I suck it up and be tough. And after awhile, I break down. I prove to my kids that this mom can handle anything and I try to prove to Stan that hard things might not ruffle me. But the amazing thing is they can all tell in some way. Brynn asks a lot of questions, she wants to know what is going on. Joel acts out even more, trying to get any attention he can, even if its negative. Macy tries to get my attention by talking and being silly. Spencer screams and throws fits about everything. Stan asks what he can do to make my life easier. As hard as I try to hide, they can still sense something is wrong, that I'm not as tough as I want them to believe. And what is the reason? I'm not exactly sure. But the solution for me is to have a good cry, somewhere secluded, talk it over with someone who loves me who is slightly removed from the situation, and just have some me time to grieve. The solution seems so simple but I rarely have enough alone time to really get it out. 

Reasons for being tough right now...

Stan is receiving a 2nd heart valve replacement. He had it done in high school and its time again.  We planned to move at the end of June to be closer to family, this surgery is done in edmonton and then there is 2-3 months of recovery. This is definitely where we need to be. Deep down, I'm not worried about the surgery or his recovery but it will be hard, it will require a lot of sacrifice from him and from me. The news really surprised us as he has been really healthy. We also know that all things happen for a reason. 

Then, in the middle of all this, I found out I was pregnant. A couple if months ago, after I declared for the 100th time that I was done having kids,I had a strong impression that I wasn't done. The impression came in such a way that I knew I needed to keep trying and The Lord would bless me to be able to handle it. So with faith, we moved ahead. Days after I learned of this pregnancy, I lost it. All things considered, the surgery and hopefully moving later on, it's better for me to have my full emotional and physical capacities. And still I didn't know I would feel sad and need to grieve. But I do and I will in some way and all will work out for our good, I'm sure of that. 

How's that for a post??

May 1st is an anniversary day for me

As of May 1, 2013, I've been living in Canada for 10 years!  That's pretty much most of my life as a grown-up.  I had been married almost 2 years when I moved here and Brynn was 5 months old.
I never thought this is where I'd end up, but I sure do love it.  Life is great when you are with the people you love the most! 

We rode the Gondola in Banff and then "hiked" to the tippy top.  It was breathtaking.  Expensive but so worth the experience.  So glad we could all do it together.

Grateful

It's nice that we get to be parents for several years.  Each year we learn new things.  Last year we went a little overboard and I'm not sure why, with the Christmas gifts.  The kids were a mess and Stan and I felt really bad about the whole deal.  So we planned and prepared carefully for this year, not wanting a repeat of last year ever again and after all we all got a ski pass and it was expensive and Christmas isn't all about material gifts anyway. 
We were so glad as this morning unfolded quickly, everyone was so excited.  No complaints.  We missed the best reactions with the video camera.  It was all simple and great.  Exactly what I was hoping for.  I'll admit that I've had trouble with the whole Santa thing so this year, I got something very practical and usable for the Santa gifts and the cool gifts were from us.  An excellent idea given to me by a sister in law.  For next year we want to make gifts but we want to start right away coming up with ideas so we can start and work on them all year, if we need to.  We are pretty sure it won't be cheaper but they will be long lasting and the giving of them will be more rewarding, having put so much time and energy into them. 

Merry Christmas everyone!

Merry Christmas!

2012 was a busy and fun year for the Stan Torrie family.  We had wonderful family trips to Spokane, Washington, and Utah, with lots of weekend trips to southern Alberta full of fun family time.

Spencer (15 months)-He went from being a wee babe to a walking and running toddler this year.  He is a serious child who really thinks a lot about what is going on around him.  He has the cutest smile and a contagious giggle.  He LOVES his mom and wants to be near her all day long.  Thankfully he likes his dad now too so he’s happy to see him when he gets home from work.

Macy (5)-She finally got to start kindergarten in September and she loves school!  She is one of the oldest in her class and is doing really well.  She is adjusting socially and her teacher loves having her in class.  She likes to sing and dance and she has a very good imagination.

Joel(8)-Joel got to be baptized this year!  He is getting more and more active and loves sports.  He is doing really well in school and his favorite subjects are gym and recess.  He does well in all areas and is a good reader, even though it isn’t his favorite thing to do.  He’s also a great singer and piano player, but don’t tell anyone.

Brynn(10)-She just turned 10 and got to get her ears pierced with Macy for her birthday.  She was very surprised that mom and dad let her do it.  She is a great babysitter and helper with Spencer.  She is an excellent student at school and this year, thanks to her current teacher, is excelling in math and science!  She likes to read, sing, play the piano, and is very competitive in family sports.

Stan is still busy in his current government job.  He has spent much of the year renovating our home and spending time with us.  We have really enjoyed that.  He likes to play the piano and guitar and his favorite things to do are playing sports with the family, guitar, and singing around the piano.

I, Sh’Nell, have spent most of my year in the kitchen.  I’ve been experimenting with lots of recipes and like to try new things that are healthy.  I enjoy reading and exercising, and having real conversations with my kids.  It’s fun to have them grow up and be little people.

This year for an early Christmas we bought a family ski pass to a local small hill near us.  We’ve been several times already.  It’s so fun to have the kids enjoy the activities we enjoy!  It was Macy’s first time this year and she is a natural.

We are most grateful for our Savior and this special time of year we celebrate his birth.  We love and appreciate our family and we are grateful for our friends here who treat us like family.

Love to all

Stan, Sh’Nell, Brynn, Joel, Macy, and Spencer.

changes

I can't keep up with technology.  I haven't posted on my blog for awhile and now I can't properly make blogger function how it used to.  how do I make my family picture large like the last one.  Shouldn't it have done it automatically?

I love this talk

Stan has been listening to talks from the BYU speeches web page.  This was his latest and he passed it on to me.  It's a talk by Stephen R Covey from 1975.  It may be old but it was revelation for me.  It must have been exactly what I needed because I soaked it all up and I'm so motivated to be a better person and to be more in tune with the Spirit and have it direct my life.  I know I will see greater progress as I do this.  Here's to great reading and/or listening.
http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=948

One of these days I'll get a new family picture up that includes Spencer.  We did have one taken in August but we haven't seen any of them yet.  And I really think I need to blog more.  Sometimes there is so much to say but I don't think anyone needs to hear it.  Maybe someone does need to hear it.  We'll see...

Joel

 Joel turned 8 on May 31 and was excited to be baptized.  We had a fun weekend and I survived it without any breakdowns, which is huge for me.  I get anxiety having people in my home, for some reason, and feeding 20 people is also difficult for me.  It all went smoothly and I had lots of women help.  I'm pretty sure it's a blessing that I don't have to host family events very often.  It sure was nice to see everyone and share in this special day with Joel!  It's so fun to watch him grow up and develop. Being a parent is hard but there are many neat glimpses of these little children of God that will become adults one day.

The handsome 8 year old

Those who came to celebrate with us

Family photo!

 He excited for his new bike.  I love that face.

 The kids had so much fun with Kali, and then with Torri, Tess and Derek( no picture of them).

Joel loves soccer and he has really improved since the beginning of the season.  It's fun to watch him.  I love soccer and played it lots as a kid.  He's a natural athlete but he really loves to play and wants to practice because it's fun and so he can get better.  I love sports that keep him running.  He has a lot of energy.

Spencer

Isn't he adorable?  Sometimes I can't believe it.

We have a nine month old boy!  I don't feel like it has gone by super fast but I'm happy that he is growing up and learning.  The baby stage hasn't been easy but it's getting better.  Yesterday we went for our first bike ride together.  I have a seat that sits behind my seat on my bike.  He loved it after he realized the helmet wasn't so bad.  This little Spencer LOVES to be outside. If he is fussy, he almost always settles if we go outside.  He loves to watch Joel play sports and also any of the kids playing outside.
He just figured out crawling two days ago.  Tonight he went a little bit further but he still fusses when he does it and thinks he isn't getting anywhere.  I'm assuming it will only be days before he is motoring around everywhere I go.  Now I'll have to be really careful about always have a clean floor.  Hopefully he won't swallow too many little toys.
He is a good eater and is weaning himself slowly from his bottle.  He eats so much food that he doesn't want or need as much milk.  I'm Ok with it.  Formula is expensive and he eats just about anything I give him so he has a pretty balanced diet.  I think we'll be buddies for awhile, him and me.

Spencer

 I had to create this collage because all of these faces are Spencer.  He can change his expressions quickly.  Big and smiley, serious, very sad (I didn't have one of that but I see it a lot), unsure, curious.  He has the biggest smile and it makes me happy when he smiles at me.  I'm starting to look at myself and wonder who I am.  I feel like I look different already and I'm only 32.  It's kind of creepy(I only picked that word because Macy says it all the time but it sounds like "cweepy").  We are trying to work on her 'r's.  She has a hard time.

His two little teeth.  He got one around 6 months and the 2nd shortly after.  did I already post these pictures?  They are fully in now and he has been working on other ones. I thought it was two more on the bottom but nothing has poked through yet.
Spencer is past 8 months old.  He is anxious to move.  He seems frustrated to have to be still.  He kind of gets in the crawling position but hasn't figured out how to go yet.  I'm a little fearful for him to move because it will be tiring for me in a different way.  Right now he screams and wants to be held so it just might be better for him to move and follow me around, even though I'll have to keep my eye out constantly. It's always interesting to watch your children learn and grow.  Fascinating each time.  We sure love our Spencer.  He is full of life and spirit.  He loves his siblings.

Pleased

A couple of days ago I woke up wishing I could just stay in bed.  I was really tired and grumpy.  Getting the two oldest kids out the door wasn't an unusual task, followed by my week day workout.  Spencer wasn't too happy to be awake that day either or he was just feeding off of me.  He screamed all through the workout and then had only a 20 minute nap. I was frustrated and unsure how to turn my day around.  I called a trusted companion who offered some fixes, sure that they would bring me happiness.  This annoyed me further.  It wasn't that simple.  I just needed to be heard.  Here's the best part!  Normally I would have continued on this way and the whole day would have been crappy and I would have taken it all out on Stan when he came home from work.  However, the Lord helped me to laugh at what had happened, the advice I'd been given, realize the person offering it is imperfect and not able to meet all of my needs.  My attitude shifted and I enjoyed the rest of the day.  Hooray for progress.

I love the Maytag

Before we sold our last house, we bought new appliances.  We tried to sell our dishwasher but it didn't sell, gratefully.  With all the money we have spent so far on our "new" old home, we were so happy to have our old dishwasher.  Stan got it installed on Saturday and it is so lovely to hear the hum of the dishwasher going, knowing that I don't have to scrub all the dishes by hand.  Little conveniences make such a big difference in our modern-day life!  And have I mentioned before that I'm happy my kids are at school!  It might not be the best education but I sure hope we do enough real life learning at home, to make up for all the hours spent at public school.  It sometimes does feel like babysitting, not free, and the kids do learn, and they socialize, and they learn how to deal with conflict a lot, which isn't a bad thing either.

The girls have moved into the basement

Paneling. Some wood looking and some other.  Dirty and gross.

Drywall!  My dad helped Stan get a great start when he was here for Christmas

Having some fun painting.  Brynn is a good painter!  Macy loves to help

.The mostly finished product.  We need curtain rods and decorations on the wall.  Something for their closet and a desk.  But they are in!

Spring

I've discovered, especially since living in the north, that I really like spring!  Spring gives me hope that summer will come eventually and that we will enjoy a few months without any snow, even if we get a spring snowstorm, which we usually do. 

Also, I made my first visit ever to a mental health professional.  She is a psychologist, R.N. and working toward a doctorate in Nursing, specializing in sleep something.  Through the craziness I've experienced over the last year and more, and encouragement from some family members, I decided maybe I should get some counseling.  My biggest issues are being optimistic and finding joy in everyday life.  I know these are things that lots of people deal with but Stan's benefits cover the help and it's a way to talk about my life, outside of my family, in a confidential way, with someone who can help give me some strategies.  The psychologist is a perfect fit for me.  We are similar in enough ways that she is easy to talk to.  She is a very spiritual person, which is huge for me. I've had an introductory visit and I'm really excited to move forward.  Something that she and others have helped me see lately that in order for me to be helpful to my family, I must find things I enjoy to fill up my bucket, so when life sucks it out, I won't be completely depleted.  As I have been working on that, it has made a HUGE difference.  Having "me" time has always been important.  I'm an introvert by nature and get recharged by being alone.  Being surrounded by kids all day just doesn't work.  I have to have some breaks or at least some outings to break it up.  I can easily see why homeschooling made me crazy.  However, I also recognize that things weren't too ugly until I got pregnant.  Hormones do crazy things to me.  Enough rambling...I'm excited to see someone who can help me.  Stan is actually really good at helping me too. He can see things that I don't always recognize and he's nice about pointing it out.  He's also learned when he can safely approach me, which is a big deal.

Macy is good at being 5

I have a short memory and I don't really remember what my other kids were like at age 5.  Macy has really looked forward to being this age and has been talking about it for 6 months or more.  She was excited to:

Open presents

go out to eat for dinner

And have a friend party. 
She is really excited that she is now old enough to go to school, even though she has to wait until September.

It's May!

I'm on a journey to the new me.  It's been hard, depressing at times, exciting, and hopeful!  I've been a mother for over 9 years and somehow lost myself as I was giving to my children, not realizing that they, and I, needed me.  I'm making a comeback and it feels so good.  I feel alive again and excited to be a mother and a wife, a fiddlest(I've only had two lessons), an exerciser again and boy does that feel great!. I actually played basketball with Stan and Joel outside the other day.  It was so fun. I forgot how much I love sports.  I still read a lot because it is a great source of spiritual communication for me.  I receive many answers to my prayers as I read and learn.  My favorite reads of late:  The Acts of Faith Series by Janette Oke and Davis Bunn. It's historical Chrisitian fiction around the time just after the Savior was crucified.  I'm in the middle of book 2.  They are wholesome and uplifting and cultural and I like that.  Phil Callaway is another Christian author I've been reading.  He writes about having a positive outlook on life and finding humor in all the little, everyday things.  I desparately need that. And...the book I'm just finishing is Stephanie Nielson's Heaven is Here.  She shares her experience of her perfect life before her airplane crash that burned 80% of her body, and her recovery  up to now.  It is amazing!  She is a very personal writer and shares the struggles she faced as she has come back to life from near death.  I read it in just over 2 days.
Thanks to my family and friends for encouraging me and helping me in ways that has saved me from further despair.  I'm so grateful!

Joel

 Joel is a very logical thinker.  We had some pots and pans out and the kids were drumming.  He looked at the bottom of the pan and said "I can tell how old this pan is."  "How do you know?" we say.  He said, "I counted the rings."  Then we figured out he was counting the rings like you would a tree.  Smart kid.

 

Joel played basketball again this year and this is a picture of him from his tournament.  They don't keep score, which is good.  It's a good way to get experience playing other teams.  Joel loves to play sports and is going to try soccer this year.  We have to hope for a good spring.  I've always boycotted soccer here in Canada because it's always too cold and snowy for much of the season.  I wish they would do it in the fall when the weather is nice. 

Random happenings

Macy is helping me make Shrimp Scampi, a new favorite recipe.  We love it and it's so quick and easy.

Brynn and Joel had a lot of fun this day making forts out of our abundant supply of wood and the little bit of snow to help it stay up.  Since this picture, we got a couple of feet of snow, most of which has now melted again. 

 

A Sunday afternoon.  I'm pretty sure Stan is napping.  Joel's trying to help Spencer be happy while he is on his tummy.   

Spencer at 6 months

 

 

 

Spencer sure is growing.  He is sitting up really well and has been for most of the last month.  He is happiest when being held and walked around, particularly by Mom.  He does really well too if the kids take him away and play with him, where he can't see me.  He still has to be completely wrapped tight in order to sleep.  He's so strong now that we have to wrap him twice, once with a thin blanket and then again with a stretchy knit blanket so we can wrap him tight, so his arms don't escape.  It seems extreme but he sleeps pretty well.  Right after the last month's post about him sleeping through the night, he stopped.  I never know if I'm creating a habit or if he really has a need.  He goes to bed at 7 or so.  He is now sleeping through the night again.  He usually has 2 really good naps a day and sometimes a 3rd.  I'm grateful for that, as those are the times when I can get something done.  He really likes to be outside and in areas where there are lots of people to look at.  We are grateful that he is healthy and strong.

5 months on Earth

Our sweet baby is now five months old. It feels like longer, in some ways, but the time has gone by quickly. Spencer is growing and changing and we are enjoying the process. This past month, he loves his jolly jumper. He does a little dance in it and it's so cute to watch. The other night he laughed and laughed at Joel who was being a very silly boy, throwing his lunch kit around and running into things.

This pumpkin hat has been worn by all of our kids. Brynn was a pumpkin one year for Halloween. The kids wanted to dress Spencer up and this is what they found. He's a cute pumpkin head.

Brynn got a make-up set for Christmas and Macy loves to be her client!

Spencer is sleeping through the night most of the time now, which is a welcome blessing. He likes to be held much of his waking time these days. It hurts my back but I know it doesn't last forever. He just likes to be near me or someone and see all that is going on. He's almost sitting up and seems anxious to be growing up, but he doesn't like to be on the floor much.

We've been hit again with nasty colds. Stan and I are just a little sick and I'm trying hard to learn about natural ways to stay healthy. One guy that my mom has been reading for years has some great ideas. I'm reading his brochure online right now about cold and flu. Check it out, he has some really interesting stuff.
I've been doing pretty good with my whole foods eating plan. It's hard and expensive to keep fresh stuff in the house all the time but I know my body enjoys it a lot more.
Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day and here's the link to some health stuff
Dr. Richard Schulze BLOG