5th batch

Choosing Thus the Kinder Plan(taken from the hymn Nay Speak No Ill)

1. Nay, speak no ill; a kindly word

Can never leave a sting behind;

And, oh, to breathe each tale we've heard

Is far beneath a noble mind.

Full oft a better seed is sown

By choosing thus the kinder plan,

For, if but little good is known,

Still let us speak the best we can.

2. Give me the heart that fain would hide,

Would fain another's faults efface.

How can it please the human pride

To prove humanity but base?

No, let us reach a higher mood,

A nobler estimate of man;

Be earnest in the search for good,

And speak of all the best we can.

3. Then speak no ill, but lenient be

To others' failings as your own.

If you're the first a fault to see,

Be not the first to make it known,

For life is but a passing day;

No lip may tell how brief its span.

Then, oh, the little time we stay,

Let's speak of all the best we can.

Becky Anderson

She talks about Peter in the New Testament and her study of him.  How he had such a strong testimony, but was still weak.  After bearing strong testimony of the Savior, he denies even knowing the Savior, and returns his former life, small and insignificant.  (I've tried this concept so many times in motherhood,  trying to return to my formal life, but it doesn't work.  I am no longer the person I was 11 years ago! But I continually learn things, or just remember, about myself: Sunshine and being outside regularly makes me happy!  Having alone time makes me happy!  Spiritual nourishment daily is essential! Having a schedule or ideas of things to do can make me happy.)

The Savior can make me enough even when I don't feel like I'm enough. 

The speaker had breast cancer, that was inoperable.  She received several treatments of radiation and chemotherapy.  During the middle of treatments, she had some tests done, to check the status of the tumor.  Much to her dismay, the tumor was unchanged.  She plead with Heavenly Father to be able to live so she could raise her boys.  She said she almost felt like a child having a tantrum.  She didn't feel peace about her illness and the trials that came with it until she gave up her will, and her desires.  Once she did, she felt peace.  And God's will was that she should live and she has recovered!

The Savior knows All, our strengths and our weaknesses

What is the kinder plan for me?  I know it involves doing hard things I'd rather not do. (This is my goal path for the next little bit.)  I might post it.

D&C 98:1-3

 1 Verily I say unto you my friends, ^afear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore

and in everything give ^bthanks;

 2 ^aWaiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.

 3 Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been ^aafflicted shall work together for your^bgood, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord.

She was so excited about the word Sabaoth.  It's in the Bible Dictionary, different than Sabbath. It is:

Hosts. The Lord of Sabaoth was a title of Jehovah; the hosts were the armies of Israel (1 Sam. 17:45) but also included the angelic armies of heaven (Judg. 5:20; 2 Kgs. 6:17; Rom. 9:29; James 5:4; see also D&C 87:7; 88:2; 95:7; 98:2).

Who will be in our army?

Follow the Lord in all things! Accept His will and do it.

Nan Rasmussen

A quote from Neal A. Maxwell but paraphrased-We are here in mortality and the only way is through.

Sister Hinckley-We can either laugh or cry in life, I choose to laugh, crying gives me a headache.

*laughter is a great natural medicine: it boosts immune system, relieves stress, improves mood, strengthens relationships, binds people together, no negative thoughts can enter, can heal when accompanied by love.  Humor gets you out of your head and away from worries.

Laughter helps combat negativity.  Laugh at yourself!

The adversary(devil) cannot deal with a sense of humor...(this was a quote from a general authority.  I would like to find it and read the whole quote)

We can learn to laugh and we can choose to laugh.  Not sarcasm or laughing at others in a harmful way.  She told a story of a mother who made a delicious strawberry pie to take to a big family dinner.  Her young daughter insisted on carrying it from the car to the house.  She made it just to the front step, tripped and the pie spilled all over the sidewalk.  The wise mother said "hurry in the house and grab some spoons!"

Even if you're not happy, put a smile on your face

Go forward with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face.

Choose the kinder plan

Manners and coercion vs humor/laughter (think of the Savior's way of teaching)

1. Choose to accept that you are a child of God

2. Choose to put everything on the altar, use agency to accept and do His will

3. Choose to put yourself in a position to have experiences with Him

4. Choose to obey/keep covenants

5. Choose to prepare and attend temple

6. Choose to believe in the Atonement, accept Savior's forgiveness and forgive yourself

The story of the lady who is often referred to as the "tattooed" Mormon

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765626083/Al-Fox-Tattooed-Mormon.html?pg=all

2 Nephi 10:23

23 Therefore, ^acheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are^bfree to ^cact for yourselves—to ^dchoose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.

4th batch

DAY 2

Super powerful songs to open this general session.  (Look them up "Come To Jesus" then there was one that was to the tune of "Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing" but the words were different)

The Atonement heals , comforts, Consoles, and Enables Us to Show mercy and Grace unto ourselves

Sister Linda K. Burton (President of the General Relief Society)

She tells this story that was told by President Faust in 1999.  "His mother, wishing to encourage him, “bought tickets for a performance of the great Polish pianist, Paderewski. The night of the concert arrived and the mother and son found their seats near the front of the concert hall. While the mother visited with friends, the boy slipped quietly away.

“Suddenly, it was time for the performance to begin and a single spotlight cut through the darkness of the concert hall to illuminate the grand piano on stage. Only then did the audience notice the little boy on the bench, innocently picking out ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.’

“His mother gasped, but before she could move, Paderewski appeared on stage and quickly moved to the keyboard. He whispered to the boy, ‘Don’t quit. Keep playing.’ And then, leaning over, the master reached down with his left hand and began filling in the bass part. Soon his right arm reached around the other side, encircling the child, to add a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice held the crowd mesmerized.

“In our lives, unpolished though we may be, it is the Master who surrounds us and whispers in our ear, time and time again, ‘Don’t quit. Keep playing.’ And as we do, He augments and supplements until a work of amazing beauty is created. He is right there with all of us, telling us over and over, ‘Keep playing.’” 7

The Lord is the ultimate personal trainer!!

Sister Oscarson(Young Women General President)

The Atonement must be individualized and personal in order to draw on its power.  This reminded me of something my Bishop said at a meeting this year.  We all need to have personal religious experiences.

1. Repent daily

2. Pray to prioritize

3. Pray and study the scriptures, trust the Lord to inspire

Everyone needs the power of the Atonement!

Scriptural experiences of Jesus appear more often in the Book of Mormon-no wonder the rest of the world has little understanding of the Atonement.  (This statement opened my eyes)  I wish my friends of other faiths weren't so afraid of the Book of Mormon!  It is a book full of truth, written by prophets.

Sister Wixom(Primary General President)

"talking" children in at bed-time (she told a story here but I couldn't write it down fast enough)

Come unto Him-becoming His "I give"  "I'm yours"

a paraphrased quote from Elder Hafen-if you are seeing more of your weaknesses, know that you are coming closer to the Savior.

Look forward to the opportunities to change and become better.

Look for small and simple ways to be more obedient

Spencer

Yesterday was laundry day and the kids didn't have school. Joel put a pair of clean underwear on his head to be funny. Spencer picked up some shorts, called them underwear, and put them on over the top of his pants. Then he wore them out in public. 

Joel had a birthday

Shout hooray!  He's now 10. 

He loves riding quads( that's a 4 wheeler in American), motor bikes, mowing the law with a riding lawn mower, playing the piano, making rainbow loom bracelets, taking care of calves, spending time with cousins, going to cubs, watching movies. 

At this point in his life he wants to be a scientist, a doctor, or a farmer/rancher. He wants to earn a lot of money so he can buy his kids lots of fun things to play on and to travel to fun places. 

He requested that I make a Thai food recipe he'd had before at his aunts house. It was simple and delicious. Stan's nephew had his high school graduation that day too so we were juggling a bit.

Joel is currently saving money to buy a dirt bike. He pretty much has his part saved already. Time to shop for used ones so he can enjoy it this summer. 

Solitude

I have a great emotional need to spend time alone, regularly, ideally every day. I often don't make the connection of why weekends are such a challenge for me.  But I like summer breaks and Christmas vacations. 

I'm feeling overwhelmed with people, and tasks. Little people leaving trails everywhere, huge garden and yard, and too much floor space to clean. My ideal house is a smallish one. Easier to keep up, especially if it only has a couple of bathrooms. 

Also I was talking to a friend and someone told her to do something each day that can't be undone. This is good advice for me as most of my days are spent doing tasks that are quickly undone. One day last week, I made a quilt top. I was feeling creative and the project went smoothly and was very satisfying. Here it is:

The angle is weird. It's going to be my patriotic quilt. When I'm feeling homesick or grateful or just chilly, I'll wrap myself in it. It will have flannel on the back. 

Heavenly Father cares

It's been a frustrating time around here, only recently. Stan is crazy busy, maybe this is the new norm( it's a cycle). That always throws things off a bit. We do fine when he's gone but after he comes back, it can be hard to adjust. Everyone seems to be feeling under appreciated in some way, and I usually get all the blame for what is wrong, a less than ideal responsibility of a mother. I thought I was doing better, in so many ways, and in Mother's Day was even told so. But Mother's Day is now past and we are back to reality. What my kids don't realize is I give and give for them but they don't see it as a gift, that's  just life, it's what moms are supposed to do. If I let myself get tangled up in not being appreciated, I would cry everyday. So, even though the family may not notice all that I'm changing and accomplishing through the power of the atonement, I know it and Heavenly Father knows it and because He cares that I keep trying, I will, for Him. 

Cereal

We don't eat much cereal around here anymore.( but we just got several calves that need to be bottle fed early in the morning so this will likely change for awhile.) I go out on a limb and buy corn bran, all bran, and when the kids are lucky I buy corn flakes or life, Cheerios too. I love that they eat corn flakes plain, no sugar. I also love that when I buy a sugary cereal, it's a treat, and they are almost as excited as when they get ice cream. (I make my own granola that I could eat everyday but some of the kids don't like it,)

3rd batch

The Redeeming and Strengthening powers of the Atonement

Elder and Sister Hafen

Severe mercy-the idea that the Lord, in mercy, helps us, but it requires all of our effort, often more than we think we have. 

(I need to read this story again, I may have mixed up some of the details)

She shared a story about Agnes, a pioneer girl, traveling to Utah with the Martin or Willie handcart company.  Agnes and her friends were getting weaker and weaker, from lack of food, exhaustion, and the cold.  They wanted to be invited to ride in the sick wagon, so they would no longer have to walk.  Her friends were weakening all around her.  She too was having a hard time.  The sick wagon appeared and the wagon master reached out for her hand.  She thought he would pull her up onto the seat next to him. Just as he grabbed her hands, he told the horses to go faster, causing Agnes to run along side the wagon, still holding the master's hand.  Just as she thought she was going to die, he pulled her up, wrapped her in a blanket and placed her in the back of the wagon.  She realized that the wagon master had saved her life.  Forcing her to run, when she thought she couldn't, increased the circulation throughout her freezing body, and kept her from freezing to death.  The rescuer and the one being rescued had to give their all.  Think of this in relation to us and the Savior.

Elder Hafen

The story of Christ is about giving the Atonement

The story of Adam and Eve (and all of us), is about receiving the Atonement

From 2 Nephi 2:25 with a couple of extra words:

"Adam fell that men might be (mortal) and men are (mortal) that they might have joy."

Atonement's purpose: facilitate our growth so we can live with God.

We are born whole or innocent, not bad/evil

We have to taste bitter in order to know the sweet

We can't be with Him until we are like Him

Sister Hafen-

These blessings are unconditional- the creation, life on Earth, the Atonement, the Resurrection

Elder Hafen-

Conditional blessings: forgiving, strengthening, perfecting

We have to participate in these processes

a change of heart can be quick or gradual

"The Lord sees fit to inflict..." (Mosiah 3:19)

Christ strengthens us because of His covenant relationship with us

The Atonement allows Christ to have a covenant relationship with His followers

Look up scriptures about Grace

Sister Hafen

Charity-the saintly capacity to love others as He does

It's a gift of grace and is given to true followers of Christ-it requires more of us.

Think of the spirit of the law-what are our intentions

Moroni 8:25-26

Adversity could be any of these things:

our own mistakes

adversities that are part of life

things that the Lord inflicts, for our growth

*If we are serious about discipleship, we will be asked to do things that are hardest for us

earned empathy

D&C 97:8

The Savior cannot force us to take His hand.

DAY 2

Super powerful songs to open this general session.  (Look them up "Come To Jesus" then there was one that was to the tune of "Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing" but the words were different)

The Atonement heals , comforts, Consoles, and Enables Us to Show mercy and Grace unto ourselves

Sister Linda K. Burton (President of the General Relief Society)

She tells this story that was told by President Faust in 1999.  "His mother, wishing to encourage him, “bought tickets for a performance of the great Polish pianist, Paderewski. The night of the concert arrived and the mother and son found their seats near the front of the concert hall. While the mother visited with friends, the boy slipped quietly away.

“Suddenly, it was time for the performance to begin and a single spotlight cut through the darkness of the concert hall to illuminate the grand piano on stage. Only then did the audience notice the little boy on the bench, innocently picking out ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.’

“His mother gasped, but before she could move, Paderewski appeared on stage and quickly moved to the keyboard. He whispered to the boy, ‘Don’t quit. Keep playing.’ And then, leaning over, the master reached down with his left hand and began filling in the bass part. Soon his right arm reached around the other side, encircling the child, to add a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice held the crowd mesmerized.

“In our lives, unpolished though we may be, it is the Master who surrounds us and whispers in our ear, time and time again, ‘Don’t quit. Keep playing.’ And as we do, He augments and supplements until a work of amazing beauty is created. He is right there with all of us, telling us over and over, ‘Keep playing.’” 7

The Lord is the ultimate personal trainer!!

Sister Oscarson(Young Women General President)

The Atonement must be individualized and personal in order to draw on its power.  This reminded me of something my Bishop said at a meeting this year.  We all need to have personal religious experiences.

1. Repent daily

2. Pray to prioritize

3. Pray and study the scriptures, trust the Lord to inspire

Everyone needs the power of the Atonement!

Scriptural experiences of Jesus appear more often in the Book of Mormon-no wonder the rest of the world has little understanding of the Atonement.  (This statement opened my eyes)  I wish my friends of other faiths weren't so afraid of the Book of Mormon!  It is a book full of truth, written by prophets.

Sister Wixom(Primary General President)

"talking" children in at bed-time (she told a story here but I couldn't write it down fast enough)

Come unto Him-becoming His "I give"  "I'm yours"

a paraphrased quote from Elder Hafen-if you are seeing more of your weaknesses, know that you are coming closer to the Savior.

Look forward to the opportunities to change and become better.

Look for small and simple ways to be more obedient

Choosing Thus the Kinder Plan(taken from the hymn Nay Speak No Ill)

1. Nay, speak no ill; a kindly word

Can never leave a sting behind;

And, oh, to breathe each tale we've heard

Is far beneath a noble mind.

Full oft a better seed is sown

By choosing thus the kinder plan,

For, if but little good is known,

Still let us speak the best we can.

2. Give me the heart that fain would hide,

Would fain another's faults efface.

How can it please the human pride

To prove humanity but base?

No, let us reach a higher mood,

A nobler estimate of man;

Be earnest in the search for good,

And speak of all the best we can.

3. Then speak no ill, but lenient be

To others' failings as your own.

If you're the first a fault to see,

Be not the first to make it known,

For life is but a passing day;

No lip may tell how brief its span.

Then, oh, the little time we stay,

Let's speak of all the best we can.

Spokane fun

I grew up in Spokane, Washington and enjoyed lots that the area has to offer in the way of outdoor fun. But I haven't passed that on to my kids. So I've decided to do more when I bring my family "home" to visit. 

We were lucky enough to be here for the Lilac Parade. I haven't been since my older brother was in marching band while I was still in junior high. 

Spokane Falls

We also visited Manito Park, a beautiful nature area with many different gardens. 

Budding entrepreneurs

Rainbow loom bracelets are so popular right now and my 3 oldest kids LOVE to spend hours making them. Brynn has earned over $20 selling them, so far, to her school mates. Joel is running low on elastics and announced to us two days ago that he better start selling some so he can earn money to buy more elastics. I love this! Makes me so happy that my kids are making some money, doing what they love. 

2nd Batch of notes

THE WORDS WE SPEAK

Jenet Erickson

Principles of a mother voice:

recognize the influence I have

build relationships

look for all the good and speak about it (with our kids and about them)

Teach choices and consequence

listen and discuss, turn them to the Lord for their answers

every interaction with the child can strengthen the relationship or weaken it

pray in the moment of crisis, sometimes with the children

Sister Hinckley encouraged "just save the relationship"

identify our own feelings to them ("I'm feeling frustrated, tired or mad")

If I feel judgemental and critical, it's not the time to discipline

pray with kids for repentance, help them to know how to do it, and apologize to those they have hurt or offended. 

Shame (withdrawing love and threatening them)  VS Guilt (expressing regret for their choice)

Trust your child to choose good

give them hope and courage to view the realities of their choices

We grown, learn, and practice together, that's what life is all about

We are totally dependent on the Savior for success

Seek to know how to love each child

If you resolve not to be angry and

criticize, ask the Lord to help.  He will help me to know how to do it!

Pause before you respond to a situation (the Lord can compensate for my tiredness, my irritability, my hormonal imbalances, and my grumpy days)

Jean Bingham

Read President Monson's talk from conference,               https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/love-the-essence-of-the-gospel?lang=eng

1. Does my tone communicate love?

would I treat adults or strangers the same as I speak to our children?

view children as visitors from another country-they come ready to listen and learn.  Mistakes are a part of learning.  Remember ages and stages with kids

keep a sense of humor

quiet and calm voice communicates love

try saying "I love everything about you"

Her father said to her "You are practically perfect in every important way"  ( I love that!!)

Praise them for what and who they are becoming

Think of those around us who are helping and encouraging us (balcony people)

3.  Do I listen with love?

4. Does my communication lift, strengthen, and encourage ones that I love?

5. Am I willing to make an effort to change to the mother I want to be and the mother the Savior knows I can be?

Real change comes from believing in the Atonement(grace), allowing yourself to change

and

increasing your personal sensitivity to the Holy Ghost

try reporting in your night time prayer, look for progress, pray to be able to see it.

THE MORAL FORCE THAT IS WITHIN YOU

Janie Penfield Rasmussen

Virginia H. Pearce

(This was toward the end of the first day and I was getting tired so I don't have as many notes but they said some great things.  I'm hoping some of the talks will be available againhttp://ce.byu.edu/cw/womensconference/ )

She talked about "A thin place" where the veil is cracked open and there is an influence from the other side.  She related her experience after her husband died 4 years ago and how sacred her home became to her, a thin place.

Nothing and No one can prevent us from having experiences with God.

We assimilate God's light.  We can carry His power!

She shared a story about someone else.  A mother was driving her children to school.  Her son was about to leave the car and said "well, it's time to leave the bubble and go out in the world".  His mother said "no, take it with you"  Be an influence for good everywhere you go!  Receive the light and carry it with you.  Help our kids to understand this. 

Sheri Dew

I had to share this link.  It has a bunch of quotes from Sheri Dew.
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/62012.Sheri_L_Dew

First batch

After typing a lot of my Women's conference notes, I discovered that I have a lot.  So, I decided to post them in batches so you don't get discouraged by too many words!

Notes from BYU Women's Conference 2014

Yay for an awesome break from the routine of life, a major spiritual boost, and lots of sunshine!

The theme of the conference was a scripture found in Psalms 84:11

"For the Lord God is a Sun and Shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly."

I think were 100 sessions during the 2 days.  I went prepared and expecting to receive some answers to prayer.  And did I ever!  God is merciful, patient, loving, and kind. 

Many of the sessions were running concurrently and sometimes it was really hard to choose which class to attend. Here are the thoughts that stood out to me.  My hope is that some of what I share will help you too.

DAY 1

Sheri Dew-I've thought much about this wonderful lady who is single and 60.  What I admire most about her is her ability to do the Lord's will.  How different her life would be if she had married young and had a family but we probably wouldn't even know who she is.  She has blessed the lives of millions all over the world because of the life she has been called to lead.

She spoke in the opening session of the conference and spoke mainly of God's grace:

Learn to unlock the power of Jesus Christ

1.  What is grace? the power beyond anything earthly, she told a story about her Dad.  He was a wonderful man in so many ways but he had a vice, as we all do.  He struggled with anger.  His family was the brunt of much of it and she often had a hard time having a healthy and happy relationship with him.  As he was dying, she prayed to be able to forgive him for all the hurt and pain he had caused her.  In an instant she felt freed of all the pain she experienced from her Dad.  This is grace.

(my thoughts: Everyone has a flaw, often a big and noticeable one, we are human! But everyone also has wonderful virtues)

Substitute the word grace for power while reading your scriptures and notice what happens.

Grace is the power we get to do things we wouldn't normally be able to do.  (All my accomplishments in life are attributed to grace.  I'm so grateful for this power, without it, I would be nothing.)

Grace is always available to us! It is divine, enabling power

2. What difference can grace make in our lives?

Faith unlocks divine power

*With God's help, I can become my true self, increase my energy, my efficiency, my happiness

3.  How is grace available to us?

receiving angels- I know there are angels all around is.  My last neighbor helped me to realize this more readily.  She is very sensitive to the spirits of others. This part of it is for me to remember that others, probably ancestors of mine, are cheering for me and helping me to make good choices.

Because I have been to the Temple and have received my Endowment(a gift of priesthood power), I have access to that priesthood power.  It is not necessary to be a priesthood holder to still receive all the blessings the priesthood offers!

4.  What must I do to gain access to the Savior's power?

God's tutelage is the highest learning we can receive/experience(can't think of the right word)

Who am I becoming, with God's help, after all I can do...

a changed heart is what we all need, over and over again

Love the Lord more than ANYTHING else

change of heart (no desire to do wrong)

becoming a true disciple-Following Jesus means doing what He does, acting how He acts

Being a disciple is not easy but it's easier than NOT being one. 

ASK, in prayer, for more faith, more help

Then she asks WHAT ONE THING CAN I (EACH OF US) GIVE UP TO PUT THE SAVIOR FIRST IN MY LIFE, STARTING TODAY? (by the end of the day, I was sure that this one thing is what I need to give up.  I choose to give up my will to God, specifically in regards to my family size.  I have to put my complete faith and trust in Him, knowing and believing that His plan for me is the best plan. I want His plan to be my plan)

Then she finishes her talk with this:

We are preparing the world for the Savior to come again!

We must help others around us with their conversion

Angels are all around helping, desiring to help.

(As I sat in the Idaho Falls Temple the other day, in preparation for the conference, I felt the presence of my Grandma Mason.  She attended that temple faithfully and regularly through her life.  I couldn't help but be grateful for a wonderful woman to look up to, knowing that she is one of the angels who is helping me.  My parents were married in that same temple and I'm so grateful they chose to start their life together there and that after 56 years are still committed to the covenants they made! It has blessed all in our family and will bless all those who come after me.

HOLDING OURSELVES IN READINESS TO ACT ON THE LORD'S TIMING

Ginny Smith

Are you waiting for an answer to a specific prayer? How long have you been waiting?

There is a space between the offered prayer and the answer and this presenter called it "sacred space"

She encourages to "consecrate the wait"

Think about other waiting times, the sacrament, sessions at the Temple

If we choose to "consecrate the wait":

- we will be available to help God, to actively answer someone else's prayer

Life can be experiential, rather than chronological

Many people are waiting on us, as we wait on the Lord for our own answers to prayer

(I need to remember to pray specifically to receive guidance to help others)

BEWARE of Satan while we wait.  He wants to discourage us and cause us to lose hope.

BYU Women's Conference

To start the conference experience right, we went to the idaho falls temple! It was my first time there and it was awesome!

Flowers! We don't have this at home yet. It was so nice to have spring. 

Sweet

I'm so glad I could capture this moment! 

The kids were out of school all last week for Easter break. It was really nice. I decided that we wouldn't watch any movies or play computer games. The result?

Many moments like this picture except this is definitely the best shot. 

We played outside a lot, all the kids read a lot, had some friends over twice, local and friends from our previous home area!, played with some toys, got their hair cut. For the first time this school year, the girls really don't want to go back to school. That makes me feel good. (Joel was off at his cousins house having the time of his life).

Thoughts on parenting

I wish I took more pictures of my other kids, someday soon...

My message of this post is that in parenting, many trying, annoying, aggravating, and frustrating things happen but are often "just a phase". My mom has said this phrase to me numerous times during my motherhood career but I'm slowly starting to get it. I think the biggest help for me has been the quiet whispers of the Holy Ghost reminding me of when my older kids did similar things that the younger ones are now doing. This encourages me to share these thoughts with the two older ones and helps us not to dwell on whatever annoying event or outburst that is bothering us. 

Opposition in all things

*Tantrums.....sweet snuggles from a toddler or "mommy, I need to hug you"

*Repeated loudness through voice or pestering of siblings.....holding little brothers hand on the 30 minute drive to town

*whining or complaining...compliments given after a meal is prepared or getting chores done without being asked or responding when mom and dad ask the first time

These things are all a part of raising children. When they are grown and gone it will be their turn to handle all of the parenting situations. 

3 cheers for Macy

Macy was so excited to have her birthday on a Saturday. She loves school but recognized that we would have more fun for a whole day, rather than just after school and in the evening. And we did!

She got to open presents before breakfast, watch her new movie "frozen", and swim with cousins, aunts, and uncles at a very fun place in Medicine Hat. 

She feels 7 to me. She's mature, treats others kindly, does well in school, plays well with spencer. 

Sweet moment of today. Macy was crying in her room after she messed up putting stickers on her new Barbie car. Joel, who often surprises us with his generosity, gave her $7 of his own money. He really does love her. And he showed it. 

So pleased

Our beautiful 3rd child. 

She really wanted to buy an iPod shuffle like her older siblings. Her allowance is $5 every 2 weeks. After tithing and savings she has $3 left. She started saving in January and her goal was to save $20 by her birthday, march 22.  She passed her goal and then received birthday money and was able to buy it much sooner than she thought. I am so impressed with her discipline, giving up treats, hot lunches at school, and anything extra. Way to go girl!

Once a month

I've learned this important truth for myself!  Talking on the phone to my long-distance friends is one of the best things I can do for my emotional and spiritual well-being.  I'm not much of a phone talker, meaning, I don't usually enjoy talking on the phone.  However, I've been blessed with some amazing friends and I finally realized this was the best way to stay in touch with them, glean from their wisdom, and share our ups and downs. So we schedule a once a month phone conversation and put it on the calendar, just in case we forget.  It's something I really look forward to and enjoy!

-A random side note-
Do I love living in southern Alberta?  Meh, it wouldn't be my first choice, I'm not a country girl, in fact, I think I like cities.  I don't mind driving everywhere but I don't like paying for the gas.  BUT it is delivering all the goods that we hoped it would.  We moved here because:
a) we wanted to be closer to family-in the area and within closer driving distance to many others across the U.S./Canada border
b)We wanted small town lifestyle for raising our family
c)we wanted to be close to the homestead which offers lots of great activities in the summer time
d)we are a little closer to the mountains (Waterton)
e)small town public school is an excellent compromise for me between homeschooling and bigger public schools 

What General Conference does for me

These wonderful men remind me what the gospel of Jesus Christ looks like.  On their faces, I can see joy, peace, hope.
I can't say that I have a favorite talk from General Conference because there were things I liked from each one, but the whole experience for me does this:
-gives me peace and comfort
-joy
-assurance
-courage to set goals and achieve them because, with God, all things are possible
-faith-faith to know that because I trust God and that I'm willing to do my best, He will make everything work out for the best, for me, for our family
-nudges to try a little harder to overcome a particular weakness or two but not to be too hard on myself.
I had an added bonus this time too.  I've recently started seeking out names of my ancestors who are in need of Temple work.  My nephew(by marriage) is awesome at family history research and helped me find two names!!  So exciting.  I can now see how people get hooked on doing family history.  It's so exciting to find work that needs to be done, and know that you are the one that gets to help bring them the amazing and essential blessings of temple covenants.

Here's some inspiration

I love the talk by Jeffrey R. Holland "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence."  It's been a favorite for a long time because it reminds me to stay focused on answers to prayer that I've already received and to move ahead with confidence. Some of my favorite quotes:

"It is the plain and very sobering truth that before great moments,certainly before great spiritual moments, there can come adversity, opposition, and darkness. Life has some of those moments for us, and occasionally they come just as we are approaching an important decision or a significant step in our lives."

**this is significant for me right now because we are trying to buckle down and be more disciplined in our finances. As Dave Ramsey says"live like nobody else so later you can live like no one else". I was gung-ho about cutting all sorts of expenses and was going a little extreme, which was hurting me and not anyone else in the family. The spirit helped me back on track and we just keep being blessed. Here's some of the ways: tax return came and another rebate of nearly $1000 came. The cell phone bill got slashed, home phone bill reduced, I had fun creating our new budget and could actually assign our money to places it needed to go!, I am filled with hope for our future financial life, I'm excited to have a huge garden and to preserve lots of food, we finally have a budget for car maintenance, and I'm going to spend cash for many things because it's easier to keep track, our fuel bill was $70 less than we budgeted so I was able to use that for something that came up, and today while shopping, almost everything I needed was on sale at Safeway! I got to save gas by not going to Costco and I spent the same amount on food. So many exciting events are coming up too, the new general women's meeting for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints  general conference, and BYU Women's conference. I know that life is a series of ups and downs so I'm going to savor this up for as long as it's here!

-Elder Holland again "...but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness...."Cast not away therefore your confidence." Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."

-"you will need information too, but in matters of great consequence it is not likely to come unless you want it urgently, faithfully, humbly....  If you can seek that way and stay in that mode, not much that the adversary can counter with will dissuade you from a righteous path."

Here's the link:

http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=795

Happy weekend. The sun was out for a little bit today!

Miracles

I've started calling our phone companies to see if there's a way to reduce my bills, cutting off features that aren't necessary. After much patience, prodding, and speaking about my past successes with getting good deals, the cell phone company delivered, to his surprise and mine!  I was able to get out of my contract, have zero balance on my phone, was not charged cancellation fees, and my month to month rate is $25 less, plus I have unlimited calling and texting all over Canada. The Lord has blessed us. Our home phone bill can be reduced by $20 as well. Every little but helps. I'm feeling so grateful!

I'm gearing up for change

This is a follow up to the post about money/finances.  I have been a fan of Dave Ramsey for awhile but obviously haven't stayed on track.  We actually don't have too much debt right now, which I'm really grateful for.  But, we have no savings, and not much of an emergency fund and no wiggle room for maintenance things.  So, I'm going to get serious about cutting expenses wherever we can and if we have to add income at some point down the road to help us get to our goals, we will.  For now, I'm just going to really assess needs/wants.  Something that really inspires me is this video from the Mormon Channel:
http://www.mormonchannel.org/come-follow-me-the-atonement-of-jesus-christ?v=1383591963001
I appreciate the encouragement from those readers who commented. I do believe that we will have our own kind of miracles as we try to get our finances in order.

Saw this on facebook

And I love it!

http://tofw.com/YOU-Their-Perfect-Mother-Whitney-Permann%20of%20Mercy%20River/s/975

I've had these thoughts many times as my kids ask why we can't have more parties or make cute cards. 

Thank you, Whitney(from Mercy River), for sharing this great insight. 

What would you do if?

So, here are the facts and then I'll ask a question:
Stan makes good money, we have great benefits that a chunk of our income goes to, we pay a lot of taxes, we get a good tax return
It is expensive to live in Alberta, it's usually cheaper to buy than rent a home
our grocery bill, with household costs is about $1000 a month
Fuel is expensive, especially if you have to commute
We have 4 children, not sure if we are done
We only participate in minimal extra curricular activities, partly due to our location but the other big one is that it costs too much.
We don't have a mortgage right now and we aren't saving any money
How did we survive when we had a mortgage?  Well, we didn't really.  Much of our married life we have been able to get by with our normal living expenses but if something came up that needed to be fixed on our vehicles or house, we have had to borrow money.  Because of this we have accumulated large amounts of debt every house we've owned.  The plus side is, EVERY house we've made enough profit to pay off that debt, have a down payment and start again.  Blessings, I know, HUGE ones.  But we are tired of living like this.  We want to stay out of debt, pay cash for everything possible, prepare for the future, the rain does come!  We also want to let me stay home and be with the kids and honestly without more schooling, I can't earn too much anyway.
Because of the stage we are at, no mortgage, we are trying to figure out a plan for the next move.  I don't want to buy another house because it seems as if we can't afford it but we can't live with in-laws, it just isn't good for family relations.  so here's the question.  Knowing our situation, would you live with in-laws until you could save up lots of money for a down payment, thus reducing your  mortgage? Would you have your husband get another job and be gone even more?  Would you get a job you could do that wouldn't take much away from your family life to help with the extras, saving, car expenses etc? Would you live in a trailer or old house that feels too small?  Other things to consider: winters can be long, emotional issues are often there to deal with due to cabin fever, too many kids in tight spaces with nowhere to go.  I'd love thoughts from readers, even if there are only a few of you!  

Check

Off my to-do that is. I filed our taxes today. I love turbotax. It's easy to use and inexpensive and we get our return within a couple of weeks. Thanks to deductions for 4 kids and their activities like piano and soccer, deductions for moving, and deductions for paying tithing we are going to receive a nice chunk to help us fund a car. And I'm hoping for another miracle: that our van will keep driving until we can afford another one.

I'm grateful for the blessings we receive from paying a full tithe and other offerings. For inspiration read this talk:   https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/the-windows-of-heaven?lang=eng 

I want to buy a camera.  I've been using my phone camera for most everything and the quality just isn't that good.  I would like to spend less than $200.  I'm not a photographer but I want to capture my kids and the things we do.  I've been really slacking.  This is my attempt to recognize and appreciate the little things that make us happy.  Suggestions for a brand, or any other tips to help with this?

An unusual solution

Stan and I planned our budget for the next little bit and because of some extra car repairs that need to be done, we wondered how the numbers would reconcile. Well, I've been really sick and unable to take my kids the 30 minutes into town for their activities and I've had a couple of extra things I needed to do. I was supposed to drive in all 5 weekdays but I couldn't and so I've saved us a ton of gas money. And we paid our tithing. It was funny to see how it worked out. But mostly I'm grateful, even though it hasn't been awesome to be sick. 

And here's one of my sick kids:

The boys

Spencer has had an interesting transition to a bed from the crib. So after Christmas, I rearranged their room a bit to accommodate a bed that would fit both of the boys. They both love to sleep together. Spencer was screaming tonight when I put him to bed so I put him back in his crib. But Joel insisted that I move him from the crib into the big bed. I love that my boys love each other right now. 

I often find them snuggled up when I go to wake Joel in the mornings. It's so adorable. 

Becometh as a child

Two boys that love me no matter what!

Spencer showed pure love to someone yesterday. He is not the personality to sit on anyone's lap or play with anyone that comes along, but he could sense that she cared about him and so he attached himself to her. It was a powerful lesson of loving as the Savior does, regardless of life situations or unfair judgement that we as adults give. Maybe this is why I'm still having children. It took me until my fourth to notice this principle. At this rate I could end up with twelve kids. :) The Lord must really love me to be so patient with such a slow learner. 

These things make me smile

Farm kid wannabes. They love to pet and ride the donkeys, explore the barn and the old house, and climb on hay bales. 

-Macy woke up this morning feeling sick to her stomach so we sent her to the bathroom. After a few minutes she came out having only coughed, we've all had bad colds, and told me she coughed out the sick feeling. 😀

-Spencer singing songs from the movie Frozen, or any song. His vocabulary is amazing and I love communicating with him. 

-Joel is spending time with his cousins for a few nights and they made this. 

He has some amazing aunts! Someone asked us how we compete with all the fun. The answer is that we don't. We've accepted the fact that we won't ever be as cool or as much fun. 

-seeing and hearing brynn interact with friends.  She's entirely different. 

-The Olympics make me smile. I've really enjoyed watching some full events but lots of highlights. It's fun learning about the athletes. It's fun cheering for two countries and it's fun that Canada is doing so well in the medal count this time.  

a call to family history

For a long time, I've been content and felt good about my methods of working on family history, ie. writing a blog, journals, indexing, and attending the temple. I've been doing well at all except indexing. The last several times I've tried to index, there hasn't been anything for me to do.  I was starting to feel a little bit bad.  Also, Brynn turns 12 in December and will get to go to the Temple for the first time.  We thought it would be really neat for her to have a family name to take with her.  I guess it got my mind on it.  I've always thought I couldn't do anything because so many in each of our families has been working for years on our family lines, researching, etc.  And I don't know where to start.  Well, the other night, I had a dream.  In the dream I had a conversation with someone about family history work.  They asked why I hadn't been involved in this way.  I told them it was because so many others were doing it and I was choosing to be involved in other ways, and I believed I wouldn't be able to find any names.  The person then said that there were names that only I would be able to find.  I was shocked!  I woke up excited and compelled to figure out how to research our family lines.  Help! Does anyone have any tips?

I love it when the answers finally come

Patience is a virtue that most of us are working on.  I've been struggling for a LONG time, years, with an issue.  This issue is trying to have joy amidst life's challenges, particularly family life.  I have been trying to figure out what I can do to help set a happy tone in our home and to try to keep it when the kids come home from school and immediately begin to fight.  I have tried a few things but I had an inspiration filled scripture study Saturday morning.  I often get inspiration as I'm reading but this one really stood out to me and it was something I've really been trying to get an answer for. I was reading about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and their choice to eat the forbidden fruit, which brought physical and spiritual death to them, and all mankind.  I was reading that when we sin, we feel guilt and shame, and this is what helps us to repent.  I finally realized that I have been feeling guilty about what is going on in our home, because I have been breaking one of the commandments, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."  My family members are my neighbors as well as the rest of the people I come into contact with.  I often don't feel joy because of this sin-sin leads to unhappiness.  I can fix this.  I know how to repent!  I am so grateful that the Savior atoned for this sin of mine, as well as all others, and that I can repent and be made clean.  Since I had this realization, I now can look at my family differently.  Loving all of them, each of them, as my neighbor will help me keep the proper perspective that I need to help reduce the contention in the home.  I love that I can receive personal revelation, straight from Heavenly Father, through the Holy Ghost.  What a huge blessing in my life!

Food issues

Kids complain about food sometimes, it's life. But I'm always worried about it. I like to be healthy. I like to eat very little or no packaged food, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, and not a lot of sugar. I feel like I am from another planet since most people eat lots of packaged food. We eat whole wheat bread, whole wheat noodles and brown rice. I have no candy in my house. I feel like my kids get enough everywhere they go, school, church, relatives, friends. We eat treats here at home, yummy, homemade and mostly healthy. 

Lunches and snacks seem to be the biggest challenge. My kids go to school and when they eat lunch, they are the only ones with anything fresh, and the only ones who don't have a bag of candy in their lunch. They don't like being so different and feel so deprived and wonder why I'm such a freak. We've had many discussions about the why but they don't really care, they're kids and they don't care about heart disease. But my kids rarely get sick. I'd like to think it is because of the way we eat. But this recurring fight isn't fun. Why am I fighting? And when I do finally break down and buy something packaged, I still get complaints. Thoughts from readers?  This is mostly for me to get this out. I feel like giving up but I'm too passionate about healthy eating. Do I need to just give more homemade treats so they always feel like they have a treat?

Thoughts

I'm reading an interesting book, looking for suggestions to help my girls discover who they really are so they aren't defined by things that can slip away or that are just an image. As I'm reading, I'm learning about me, how I was as a child, a teenager, a young adult, a newlywed, a new mother, and now. It's been a little scary but a lot informative. 

I've learned:

I know who I am but I still let other things define me. 

-in high school, I thought of myself as an athlete. In my last year, I didn't play any sports and I knew I wouldn't in college. This was a year of big change for me. I had left old friends and was looking for new ones. I wasn't an athlete any longer so what was I?

-I went to BYU and became a college student. I had ideas of what I could do but my main goal for being there was to find a spouse. I had no desire to work. Having a family was the right thing to do. 

-got married and as I began the new life, I felt list again, struggling to balance my old life and friends with my new married life. 

-had children, completely lost my identity for several years. I knew I was a mom but I wasn't me and it was so hard to be me, who I thought I was or even who I might want to be.  My children still define my life. My life is based on their needs and schedules. I feel that I have a healthy balance now and I'm content with me, mostly. I think I have a glimpse of what a mother feels when all her kids are grown. I can imagine thinking, even when my kids are all in school, who am I and what do I do now?

Maybe by learning more about me I'll be able to better help my kids. And maybe I think entirely too much. Maybe I just need to learn to be more fun. 

More

Music and the spoken word, a musical program put on by the Mormon tabernacle choir every Sunday morning was a big hi light for me. I had never seen it live and it was an amazing spiritual experience for me. Music always helps me feel the spirit. I was sad that our two oldest kids chose not to come. 

We got lots of shopping in, spent a fun night and day with my brother and his family in lehi, spoiled by the parents, lots of down time, an evening with friends. 

We took the kids to a discovery place that was geared for children's learning and fun. 

Stan took Joel and brynn to see an IMAX movie, the Rocky Mountain Express. They all loved it. 

We all were having so much fun, we didn't want to go home so we stayed an extra day. I love Stan's job that gives him a lot of vacation. He works really hard at times but it's nice to have good breaks. 

Christmas break hi-lights

Got to have lunch with my little brother and his great wife!

Got to "live" in SLC for a few days and loved it. Stan's parents live diagonally across the street from temple square. What a treat. 

After a quiet, grateful, and meaningful Christmas Day, we prepared for the drive to Salt Lake City. We drove part way and stayed in a hotel. That is always a fun part for the kids. 

We arrived in Salt Lake City the next day and participated in a Torrie family gathering. It's fun to see everyone. I especially like when we get to do things together in smaller groups, that's my style. Girls had a shopping afternoon with grandma. She likes to buy them dresses.

 

They were 13 if us on that cart. This picture looks unassuming but I had quite the ride holding the wheelchair at the back and the young man driving actually went on the road and was driving faster than I was comfortable with. I wasn't worried about falling off but I was worried about losing or breaking the wheelchair.

Satan's plan vs heavenly fathers plan

I like to force my children to be obedient, especially when it comes to matters of church. We expect them to attend church, have family scriptures, family home evening, personal scriptures, etc. they are still young but we do this in hopes that they will gain the testimony they need to make righteous choices later on. I sometimes feel like I'm doing this incorrectly but haven't come up with a better idea. 

Stories

I'm reading, because I love stories. As I'm reading a particular book today, I realized why I like stories. This is the author quoting what someone said to her: "our stories are what make the difference, and if we can tell them honestly we can hope to help each other. In the end, we have nothing to offer each other but our stories."

I've always been open about my trials and stories of life, without thinking about the why. But I learn so much from other peoples stories. The scriptures, general conference, books of all kinds, friends, blogs, etc. 

this is one purpose of my blog, it's also why I keep a journal. 

Realization

I like the age between 9.5 and 10.5 years of age. It was great with brynn. She was very helpful, did a good job at her chores, loved babysitting.

Joel is at that age right now!  I'm excited for it. He's generally been really good anyway. Maybe I'm being tricked and they all will be entirely different. Or maybe my perception of them will help them to be that good way. If that's the case, I will need to always perceive the best. With heavens help I can do that. 

Christmas break

I want to catch up. We had an awesome Christmas break. I just can't seem to find any pictures. Stan took several videos but no pictures. We are lame. 

The Christmas season was busy with concerts and parties and carolling and spending time with people we love. 

Dec 23- we drove to spokane and for some reason the drive felt like forever. It was pretty snowy but we had a good book to listen to, that helped pass the time. 

I love Target in the U.S.  I was happy to get the last minute gifts I needed plus some 3-5$ clothes for spencer. 

And I found my running shoes on sale for nearly half the price as in Canada. Oh happy day. 

December 24- it was nice to just hang out. We had dinner with my parents at my oldest brother's house. Delicious food and good company, stories of France(my niece just got back from there). We acted out the nativity and opened our Christmas jammies. Happiness and anticipation filled the air. A nice feeling...

Kitchen helpers

This little guy loves to help make "gralola". He must have been really hungry because he was eating lots of it before we even got the sauce mixed in. 

An older helper- 

We've started to have Brynn make dinner  on Tuesdays because she is home and I'm running around while Joel is at cubs. I love it. It's so nice to have a little break. And she is very capable. 

Modern (in)conveniences

I'm grateful for technology in so many ways but over the last two months, I've often found myself frustrated with appliances that I can't fix and don't want to pay someone else to fix. The dishwasher was first. I've been washing dishes by hand for two months now. Not a huge deal but it takes time, something that I value. Next was the vacuum, it works enough to get us by but I feel like the carpet is always dirty. Lastly was the washing machine. The conclusion I've drawn from this last break down is that we have too many clothes. It is impossible to stay on top of the laundry situation with 6 people in the house without the washing machine. I can wear the same clothes multiple times in the winter but kids are dirty. Since the washer got fixed, I've probably done 15 loads or more. We had stuff from before we left for the Christmas break, stuff from while we were gone and the five days after our return. I think today is going to be the day I catch up on laundry. 

Updates soon but here's something to think about

From a conference talk I listened to while doing dishes this morning. "Why does He warn any of us to remove ourselves from a source of danger when He could simply stop the danger from happening?...

Rather than solve the problem Himself, the Lord wants us to develop the faith that will help us rely upon Him in solving our problems and trust Him. Then we can feel His love more constantly, more powerfully, more clearly, and more personally. We become united with Him, and we can become like Him.  (Drawing Closer to God)

Another thought about the same subject...

I just started reading a book by Virginia Pearce called 'A Heart Like His'. The subtitle is making space for God's love in your life. 

It is easy to feel pressured to do more. I've worked hard over the last several years to try to simplify a lot of things on my life but I have such a passion for learning and bettering myself that I sometimes get carried away with my plan and forget about God's plan for me. 

After reading the first chapter of the book, I'm already inspired. The main point to me was that I could open my heart to others without DOING anything extra. That in turn would help me to feel God's love more and help others to feel it too.